Blue Valentine – a sad love song about the biggest failures in an adult’s marriage

How long has it been since you had seen a love movie, more literally, sad love? Romantic drama film, not romantic comedy (rom-com)? Sad-love movies, like how we used to fall in love with Gone with the Wind, Casablanca since ancient times; The English Patient, Titanic, The Bridges of Madison County, The End of the Affair, In the Mood for Love, Happy Together … in the 90s or more recently, easier to remember are Brokeback Mountain, Atonement, Revolutionary Road, The Reader , Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Carol…

The love-sad movies I mentioned above, are there any that end with happy ending, the last one, two lovers love each other passionately and have to fight even their lives for that love to come together? Probably not! Why so?

Different from love-comedy whose ending is usually very happy ending in a bold modern fairy-tale, sad-love movies leave a tingling ending and sometimes it’s hard to get out of it. Because we used to think, if only one true love, if only two people come together with the heart, what else can stop them?

We are always confused. There are dozens of reasons lurking in the dark, waiting for those who are infatuated with happiness to pass by and rush out of the way. The ego and the great pride and the tragedies of everyday life kill the love in Gone with the Wind; the war and turmoil of a love-killing era in Casablanca, The English Patient; the duty and responsibility to kill love in The Bridges of Madison County; catastrophic killing in love in Titanic; the innocent lie that kills the love in Atonement; social prejudice kills love in Brokeback Mountain, Carol, In the Mood for Love; disillusionment kills love in Revolutionary Road; the love-killing oblivion in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind… Are there a ton of reasons hidden in the dark to get in the way of love?

Not enough, right? Then we invite you to continue to the bastards of love, who we are always subjective because we think our love is stronger than them, until we give them a chance to jump out and killing my love. Come to the love-breakers of the Blue Valentine trilogy, The Places Beyond the Pines and the recent fallen horse The Light Between Oceans.

These trilogy might be called a trilogy, though I’m not sure their director-Derek Crianfance meant it. For the sake of simplicity, these are the three beautiful love stories of a romantic filmmaker who swirls his lens deep within the character’s interior to dig it out; into the intimate privacy of two lovers in smiles, in eyes…; But the happiness of love is just narrow compared to the length of life, when the spoilers always get in the way when two lovers subjectively think that love is enough!

Blue Valentine is Derek’s best and most outstanding film in the trilogy, as a screenwriter and director. At the age of 34 when making this film, Derek has the maturity of an adult man, no longer believes in the romance of love, or in other words, he believes in the romance of love, but do not believe in its eternity. And the way he structured this movie, our viewers get overwhelmed at times. The cross of two timelines, twisted like a rope that the passionate romance of love six years ago and the gritty, grim reality of the duty and the present responsibility of two lovers. now husband and wife do not stop facing each day, constantly bumping into each other, cutting each other. That twisted staging structure throughout the film, leaving us, the attendees, gradually feel the cracks in the ceramic vase crafted by love until it becomes a huge crack waiting for it to be. shattered.

Ryan Gosling with Dean and Michelle Williams and Cindy are two guys born for each other and for Blue Valentine. Watching this movie, the actors are characters and the characters are actors, they are so intertwined that we do not bother to realize that we are watching a movie, but we are watching a cinematic life play.

Dean is a young man with no purpose in this life. He hadn’t finished high school, working as a handler for a shipping service company. In return, Dean is handsome, with a bright smile on his face (who is more suitable than Ryan Gosling), many talents (playing, singing, dancing) with a sensitive and very warm heart. Cindy is an ordinary girl like the other girls, a typical “down to earth” type, a bit dreamy but always stops before the actual milestone. She studied medicine, stayed with her father and sometimes went to the nursing home to visit her grandmother. During one visit to her, Cindy met Dean, while he was transporting clothes for the hospital. They flirt with each other, exactly Dean flirting with Cindy, in a way that is both a little sly but very sincere, romantic that makes her flutter. Cindy was once in pain with love, not long before meeting Dean. When Dean asked to marry her, Cindy confessed she was pregnant and was unsure of whose pregnancy. But Dean said, he does not care too much about whose fetus is, just their love is enough.

Actually, in the above paragraph I took a shortcut. At the beginning of the film, Derek pulled us straight into the bedroom of Dean and Cindy’s small family and their little daughter Frankie. I have a bad feeling when I see that Frankie’s visual cry for the little dog has disappeared. Then she crawled into the house and woke her father, sleeping in his father’s chair, with thin hair and a tired face, probably after a night of drunkenness. Then the father and son went to the bedroom and woke Cindy up. She is irritable and tired from lack of sleep, but also gets up to prepare breakfast for the whole family, showing disappointment how Dean pampered her child in a very childish fashion. “I don’t want to fade away taking care of both children at the same time,” she said. Then the mother and daughter quickly got in the car out of the house, to school and to work, leaving Dean irritably cursing at a car driving across the road in front of their house.

Just like that, we become more and more a part of their lives. Dean is like one. You have no goals in this life. Why should we try to chase after fame and money? I don’t need those things, I just need a living job (sweep the paint), get a morning beer, burn cigarettes like a chimney and be the husband of Cindy, the father of Frankie. 6 years, he did not change anything. You are still you, the charming guy as we know it. But Cindy, the real girl, after dreams of first love, is immediately faced with the dire reality of life, of rice and clothing, of tired nursing work, of a caring mother. Squirrel little girl. This real life stifles Cindy, keeps her sleep deprived, tired, and there are signs of constant stress on her face. Only Dean can’t see it, only Dean can’t see it, or understand the growing frustration in Cindy about her husband. In one line, Dean said to his handlers, “I think men are more romantic than women. If a man meets the woman he loves, he will marry her without thinking. She is the best. While women always choose the ‘options’ best. I mean, they spend their whole lives searching for ‘Prince Charming’ but then they get married to a man who has a good job and spend their days with them ”.

The difference in opinion about life between Dean and Cindy increasingly makes them spiritually distant from each other, although Dean always finds ways to connect with his wife and love his daughter to the fullest extent, even though he is not sure if it is his child. Their arguments are always in danger of turning into arguments, because no one understands anyone. Cindy says, why don’t you find a decent job, you have the ability, even talent, why don’t you find a stable job? Dean replied, why should he find a stable job, that is not his life goal. I don’t want to be the husband of anyone other than you and be the father of anyone other than Frankie. I want to live my own life.

Their tense chats, bumps and breakdowns gradually emerge making them further apart, to be exact, making Cindy further away from Dean. They lost each other in their duties and responsibilities in everyday life. And forever lost, when Dean, with a sensitive nature, lack of control caused a riot at the hospital where Cindy was working, causing the last drop of water to overflow.

The last 10 minutes of the film are, for me, one of the best cuts of this film, and even one of the most heartbreaking endings of sad-love movies I’ve ever seen. They locked the door in Cindy’s father’s kitchen, where she brought her daughter and packed her belongings here and prepared for the divorce.

Dean said in a choked sob, “Honey, you promised, remember? I promise, ‘Whether life is better or worse’. I used to say that. I used to say that. That is a promise ”.
Cindy turned his back on Cindy, tried to hide his emotion and said, “I’m sorry”.
Dean continued, “All this badness is your fault, okay. All. But he will try to become better. Just give me one more chance for me to be better ”.
Cindy replied, “I have stopped loving you. I have nothing left for you anymore. Nothing left. Nothing, nothing for you here “.

Dean punches the wall repeatedly and says with tears, “I was just thinking for myself. What about Frankie? You want it to grow up with a shattered roof? Is that what you want? ”.
Cindy replied, “I’m thinking of Frankie.”
Dean: “No, I didn’t think anything of it. Is this what you want it to face when you grow up? ”
And Cindy’s reply, in tremors and tears, “I don’t want her to grow up in a house where her parents treat each other like this.”

It is over.

Dean opened the door and stepped out, because he knew that all of his holdings were meaningless. Frankie leaned down to run after him, she cried hard asking him to come back. Behind is Cindy’s child call. Dean turned around, playing a game and ran towards Cindy to see who was faster. She fell into a trap, ran first and jumped into Cindy’s arms. She carried it back into the house. Dean tried to hide his emotions, turning his back to the opposite direction. The two guys go against each other in a out-of-focus and dimly lit frame. That’s the last image we saw in this movie.

We, who are invited to attend the conviction trial of love, do not know who to side with. All of them have their own reasons. Every breakup has a good reason. And the last thing I remember, is their love. Like how Derek deliberately arranges the present break scenes alternating with the happy scenes of the past, the ‘out of love’ scenes of reality are the opposite of the ‘full of love’ scenes of 6 years ago. And the most memorable, loveliest, most chemistry scene between Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams is the scene where they are getting together in a love song. Dean, broke his ukulele and sang a hilarious imitation of “You Always Hurt the One You Love” along with a shy tap-dances but filled with happiness and laughter on Cindy’s face. The scene was repeated again, this time only sound, visual sound, repeated like the opening scene. The screen was black, running generic, leaving only their voices and laughter left, voice-over, visual sound and a big question.

“You always hurt the one you love, do you?”

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